# Title: **[[& 2021-01-08 Leadership and Loneliness]]** ## Metadata: - `Type:` [[🌲️/&]] - `Author:` [[@Ami Rokach]] - `Notable Authors:` - `Keywords:` [[Alienation]] - [[Coping]] - [[Loneliness]] - [[Work]] - [[Leadership]] - `General Subject:` Leadership and Change - `Specific Subject:` Loneliness in leadership - `DOI:` <http://digitalcommons.wku.edu/ijlc/vol2/iss1/6?utm_source=digitalcommons.wku.edu/ijlc/vol2/iss1/6&utm_medium=PDF&utm_campaign=PDFCoverPages> - `Zotero URL:` [URL](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG) - `Publish Date:` 2014 - `Reviewed Date:` [[2021-01-08]] ## Citation ```latex @article{rokachLeadershipLoneliness, title = {Leadership and {{Loneliness}}}, author = {Rokach, Ami}, pages = {13}, abstract = {This article addresses leadership and loneliness and examines the interaction of these two constructs. The literature suggests that leaders (educational, state, business, and organizational) endure stress, alienation, loneliness, and emotional turmoil. These may lead to health problems and negatively affect social and familial relationships as well. The interaction of leadership and loneliness will be highlighted. Relevant literature will be reviewed on leadership and its characteristics and effects on those who succeed and get to the “top.” Loneliness will be examined and how it may affect people in general, and leaders in particular; the article will close with suggested strategies as to how leaders may cope with their loneliness.}, annotation = {ZSCC: 0000027}, file = {/Users/bryanjenks/Zotero/storage/NG2R5EKG/Rokach - Leadership and Loneliness.pdf}, keywords = {alienation,coping,leadership,loneliness,work}, langid = {english} } ``` ## Hypothesis: > "[...] that leaders (educational, state, business, and organizational) endure stress, alienation, loneliness, and emotional turmoil. These may lead to health problems and negatively affect social and familial relationships as well." ## Methodology: - ## Result(s): > " [..] "While leaders are susceptible to loneliness and isolation in their position, there are various ways that they can act in order to address it. > They must be willing to listen and to have respect for their colleagues and subordinates, which will contribute to real understanding of the leader and his/her employees, and vice versa (Kets de Vries, 1989). > A variety of strategies that can be very useful also have been covered. > Some depend on reaching out to others, like obtaining some coaching, peer support and confidants, while other approaches can be generated by the leader himself/herself, i.e., journal writing, self-development and self-understanding, and spirituality. > Regardless, loneliness in leadership, though perhaps inevitable, is not unchangeable if individuals utilize strategies to cope effectively." ## Summary of key points: - As one ascends in the corporate hierarchy, a natural distance forms between them and their subordinates. - The vacuum where these relationships once were instills feelings of loneliness. - These feelings are compounded by the actions of certain subordinates such as using the leader as a source of information or benefit (promotions, money, etc.) in a malicious and or inappropriate manner. - There is a natural need for connections, relationships, and friendships, especially in the workplace. - The lack of relationships causes a sense of loneliness that many fill with unhealthy coping mechanisms - There are a myriad of methods and tools to combat the feeling of loneliness in leaders - Executive/Leader Coaching - Peer support of other leaders. - Confidantes - Journal writing - Peer Assisted Leadership - Becoming authentic leaders in the organization - Reaching out to colleagues - Increasing one's circle of friends in and out of work. - Self-development and understanding - Spirituality and rituals ## Notes > "There is a distinction that was made "between rulership, which basically consists of obtaining the followers' obedience by coercion (e.g., control of resources or legal authority), and leadership, which includes causing people to respond to the leader of their own free will, based on trust and enthusiasm. Leaders, unlike rulers, have the ability to harness the hearts and minds of the followers. (Popper, 2011, p. 29)" ([Rokach :15](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=3)) Being forced into subservience is an act perpetrated by a “Ruler”. To be a leader is to inspire followership in others so that they follow you freely, gladly, and of their own volition. Leaders in contrast to rulers instill trust and enthusiasm in their followers instead of fear. ([note on p.15](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=3)) > "Leadership is defined as: (a) influencing people in the direction of contributing to group goals; and (b) coordinating the pursuit and achievement of those goals." ([Rokach :15](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=3)) Leaders have the vision to identify the direction to move in and then influence others to contribute to the group goal and move forward in that direction. By inspiring others to contribute the group is better able to achieve its common goal through the inspiration of leadership. ([note on p.15](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=3)) > "Leadership is both a resource for groups and an attribute of individuals" ([Rokach :15](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=3)) > "Conflict and even homicide were present in those ancient communities, and a need for peacekeeping existed before conflicts got out of hand (Boehm, 1999)" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) like blood fueds with never ending reciprocal revenge ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Members then follow the one who moves first." ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) Stage 1 Pre-Human Leadership ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Humans lived in semi-nomadic conditions focusing on hunting and gathering food in clans of 50- 150 individuals" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "The best hunters and warriors, referred to as "Big Men," exercised great influence on group decision-making (Chagnon, 1997; Diamond, 1997). For approximately 2.5 million years, leadership was democratic, in that group members resisted attempts of direct control by Big Men. If Big Men attempted to dominate the group, they may have met fierce resistance by collaborative subordinates" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) Stage 2 Band and Tribal Leadership. The modern take on tribal cultures being that the “alpha males” dominate the group and are the leaders through domineering force is inacurate. They exercised great influence but the groups were democratic and vehemently resisted domination by force. ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Homo sapiens emerged nearly 200,000 years ago, united into larger tribal structures, and maintained authority structures that were inherently democratic" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) These authoritative structures likely helped overcoming the limitations when Dunbar's Number is exceeded by a blooming society ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Leaders, by their allocation of resources to specific groups, could create cultural elites or hereditary leadership (Padilla, Hogan, & Kaiser, 2007)." ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) cue wealth disparity, inequality, and nepotism. ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "A large proportion of modern humanity still exists under these oppressive conditions: parts of Asia, much of Africa, the Middle East, and South America (Transparency International, 2005)." ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) Stage 3: Chiefs, Kings, and Warlords ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "The Industrial Revolution" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) The begining of Stage 4: State Leadership ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Followers who exhibit an avoidant-attachment style are attracted to task-oriented leaders" ([Rokach :16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) “An avoidant attachment is formed in babies and children when parents or caregivers are largely emotionally unavailable or unresponsive most of the time.Babies and children have a deep inner need to be close to their caregivers. Yet they can quickly learn to stop or suppress their outward displays of emotion. If children become aware that they’ll be rejected from the parent or caregiver if they express themselves, they adapt.When their inner needs for connection and physical closeness aren’t met, children with avoidant attachment stop seeking closeness or expressing emotion.“ — https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/avoidant-attachment#definition Avoidant Attachment —> ADHD RSD —> Maslows Hierarchy of needs ([note on p.16](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=4)) > "Consequently, people-oriented leaders attract individuals with insecure attachment styles who may follow that leader as a way of strengthening themselves (Shalit et al., 2010)." ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/insecure-attachment-style ([note on p.17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > "Luo, Hawkley, Wiate, and Cacioppo (2012) noted that between 20-40% of the people in Western countries are lonely at any given time." ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > "Loneliness carries a significant social stigma as well, as lack of friendship and social ties is socially undesirable" ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > "Loneliness most probably has an evolutionary basis." ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) Lonliness feels bad and we are likely prone to trying to escape it since having strong social and familial ties means we are higher on Maslows hierarchy of needs and are safer in our community groups. Social ties literally were a life and death situation so the animal brain and years of evolution have instilled in us a strong avoidance for the feeling of lonliness as the brain/body are tying to get us connected with our social groups as a means of continued survival. ([note on p.17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > ""No person has ever walked our earth and been free from the pain of loneliness. Rich or poor, wise or ignorant, faith-filled or agnostic, healthy or unhealthy, have all alike had to face and struggle with its potentially paralyzing grip. It has granted no immunities. To be human is to be lonely"" ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > "Succession to the top leadership position in an organization is necessarily isolating in that it separates leaders from others (who now directly report to them) and leaves them without peers." ([Rokach :17](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=5)) > "The inability to test one's perceptions, the tendency to lose touch with reality because one occupies a top position, is a danger anyone can fall victim to when in a leadership position." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) This is how a leader begins to lose touch with the health and wellness of their organization. It is vital to keep a finger on the pulse of your organization and it’s health. ([note on p.18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "He suggests, rather, that the intensity and frequency of loneliness experienced by working people varies and depends upon the qualitative aspects of one's work environment and not solely by an objective environmental condition, such as position in the organizational hierarchy." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "as people climb the organization ladder they might discover their duties no longer revolve around technical competence but rather aim toward manipulating and persuading others." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) The “Third stage of work structure” 1. menial task oriented work 2. Analytical work that requires thought, analysis, and training3. Tranition from analytical work to a role of supervison, management, or leadership.4. Leadership where you determine, inspire, and guide the direction that your subordinates are working towards. ([note on p.18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "this shift eliminates the social communication executives may have enjoyed in the past." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) When one “ascends” from an analytical/techniacal role into that of a more leadership type position, there is this new “wall” of “professional aloof-ness” as you are no longer “one of us” you have become “the boss of us”. Once you ascend to a level of leadership this “barrier” is something that must be maintained for others to respect and follow the chain of command in an organizational hierarchy. ([note on p.18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "reater responsibilities and longer hours, burdens that may reduce the amount of time available for communicating with intimates. Hence, the advancing employee may eventually find that his or her relationships and family relations have deteriorated through neglect" (Bell et al., 1990, p. 10)." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) Leaders no longer have the strong ties to their coworkers that they once did as they now have this new barrier of “professional aloof-ness” to maintain and with greater levels and requirements of leadership this begins to cause a shortage of time for personal relationships to fill that need thereby causing the degredation of those relationships in favor of professional advancement. ([note on p.18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "Thus, as employees reach the top, they find that one of the reasons leaders feel isolated is because they may become the target of their employees' ideals, wishes, feelings, and fantasies (Kets de Vries, 1989)." ([Rokach :18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > **Queen Phillippa of Denmark:** Look around that table last night, and look at the faces of the men seated at it. I can feel this calm of which you speak. I do believe they wish you well. But I also see that they have their own kingdoms behind their eyes. Do you understand what I say? I’ve been away too many years, and I’m now to return to Denmark. But I have, in my time in that court, been privy to its commissions. I have seen there, again, and again, that no one ever speaks true, wholly true. Choose your steps wisely, dear brother.> -- Netflix's The King ([note on p.18](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=6)) > "Leadership advancement leads to non-reciprocal relationships with subordinates. Leaders are expected to provide support, although it is usually unavailable to them (Blake & Mouton, 1978; Moyle, 1998)." ([Rokach :19](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=7)) “Who watches the watchers” but instead: “Who helps the helpers”. ([note on p.19](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=7)) > "selfestrangement" ([Rokach :19](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=7)) “Self-estrangement is when a person feels alienated from others and society as a whole. A person may feel alienated by his work by not feeling like he has meaning to his work, therefore losing their sense of self at the work place. Self-estrangement contributes to burnout at work and a lot of psychological stress.”— https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-estrangement ([note on p.19](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=7)) > "lonely leaders are prone to high-calorie, high-fat diets, a sedentary lifestyle, increased blood pressure, and dangerous weight gain (Lauder, Mummery, Jones & Caperchione, 2006)." ([Rokach :20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) Comfort food! ([note on p.20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) > "Schoenmakers, van Tilburg, and Fokkema (2012) suggested that loneliness occurs when a discrepancy is found between an actual relationship and one that is desired." ([Rokach :20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) Unrealized expectations and desires. ([note on p.20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) > "Thus, career success seems strongly associated with loneliness (Bell et al., 1990). The life of the executive on the organizational ladder, whether business or education, is highly competitive, leading to estrangement from peers and coworkers (Bell et al., 1990)." ([Rokach :20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) > "Executive/Leader Coaching" ([Rokach :20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) > "Peer support of other leaders." ([Rokach :20](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=8)) > "Confidantes." ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Journal writing" ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Peer Assisted Leadership" ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Becoming authentic leaders in the organization" ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Reaching out to colleagues" ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Increasing one's circle of friends in and out of work." ([Rokach :21](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=9)) > "Self-development and understanding" ([Rokach :22](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=10)) > "Spirituality and rituals" ([Rokach :22](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=10)) Performative spirituality is not a hollow show, rather it is a means of restoring our spiritual energy, communal ties, and anchor us to the present ([note on p.22](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=10)) > "They must be willing to listen and to have respect for their colleagues and subordinates, which will contribute to real understanding of the leader and his/her employees, and vice versa (Kets de Vries, 1989)." ([Rokach :22](zotero://open-pdf/library/items/NG2R5EKG?page=10)) ## Context: (How this article relates to other work in the field; how it ties in with key issues and findings by others, including yourself) - ADHD effects of RSD on the avoidant attachment personality type - self estrangement with lack of buy-in to current work environment or induced by burn out - Loneliness and the treatments for it as well as how that ties in with ADHD and the reflexive response when the avoidant attachment type ## Significance: (to the field; in relation to your own work) - ## Important Figures and/or Tables: (brief description; page number) - ## Cited References to follow up on (cite those obviously related to your topic AND any papers frequently cited by others because those works may well prove to be essential as you develop your own work): ## Other Comments: ```query Rokach2014 ```